Terry Chapman's - Sabbath Journey

Come home to love, rest is the shade of Sabbath

Today I heard from two dear friends who were feeling depleted by life. I thought I would share an amalgam of my responses to them and a constant invitation to my-Self.

Their very real and raw cry included a description of feelings and accusations, internal and external, that have just taken the wind out of their sails. Each sentence began with 'I feel. . . I am . . .' each followed by a list of difficult life sucking emotions.

Here is my response to them (and to my Self)

"This too. . .

Pause after each 'I' in the paragraph. Take another deep breath, inhaling inexhaustible love.... hold.

Now exhale releasing any judgement, cynicism and fear.

Again. Again.

Now consider, as you are able, without judgment, only with compassion and kindness: Who is the 'I' who is: angry, attacked, reaching out, needy, having a hard time, alone, getting shot down, not heard, going to crack, not comfortable, discontented, falsely accused, really hurt, afraid?

Can you touch an 'I' that is more than those separate and fleeting identifications (or even the sum of them all). . . the most authentic Self . . . only love?

Keep breathing. The deepest part of you is full of light and love and stronger than you have imagined.

Come home to that part dear one. Find healing there before returning to the 'world'.

Know you can come back, whenever you feel depleted, out of the hot sun of false identifications (as real as they seem!) into the shade of Sabbath and find rest and refreshment there."

And a poem:

Each New Day
“Blessing covers the dry land like a river, and drenches it like a flood.”
Ecclesiastes 39:22

Each new day
before setting out
on the sun scorched path
I pause by the well
fed by love’s stream
to fill my soul’s reservoir
with essential blessing
into a dry and weary land
I carry the canteen of intention
from which I shall draw
when faced with
long spells of rejection
and if by chance or
seduced by some mirage
I find myself lost
in a parched place
I will turn once more
to my canteen, now a grail
to be refreshed for the
journey home

New Brunswick Theological Seminary

I am having a wonerful time teaching a class at NBTS titled "Spiritual Disciplines".   I feel a little like a kid in a candy store.  Of course the accompanying feeling of incomleteness seems to always follow the sugar high.

The Greeting

Today I was asked two questions, two wonderfully evocative questions: “How have I experienced the power and presence of God in my life?  In what specific ways can I praise and thank God for the greatness of God’s love in my life?” 

First let me say a few things about the context in which such wild and crazy questions are asked.  The larger context is Spiritual Direction, a wonderful spiritual practice that has been an essential part of my life for many years.  Within that conversation I am being led on a journey called, “The Retreat in Everyday Life” based on the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises and more specifically the “19th annotation.”  Thankfully when Ignatius of Loyola wrote the Spiritual Exercises he realized that not everyone could “checkout” of life for a 30 day period, so he designed a way of doing the retreat over a one year time frame.  Today when my spiritual director began our conversation with prayer, as she always does, I began to gently weep with gratitude for being prayed for, or more for being invited by another into a holy time and space.  But that’s another story. 

Anyway, back to the questions.  Often when I consider the power of God in my life I turn inward.  Perhaps it is a byproduct of my formative years in the Pentecostal tradition.  Like the song says, “You ask me how I know he lives... He lives within my heart.”  Now I’m not talking about pious, private, me and Jesus kind of stuff. Or maybe I am.  Maybe it is that time “in the garden” where Jesus “walks with me and talks with me” that has been the most accessible experience of God in my life.  So when I consider the question I might respond with words that describe, in a indirect way of course, those experiences.  Words like peace, inner quietness, tears, joy, warmth, clarity and other such metaphors describe how I perceive the power and presence of God.

Today was different.  I recalled stories of ENCOUNTERS with others that opened up for me an experience of the power and presence of God.  I recalled some ENCOUNTERS with my children (teenagers) where I experienced a powerful grace.  I remembered ENCOUNTERS with a few people I visited who were sick and how the Spirit brought through in simple, yet profound ways.  I remembered the conversation at the Bible study when folks began to touch places of God’s presence in their lives.  Other stories of GOD/OTHER ENCOUNTERS surfaced.  Of course It was in the remembering of the ENCOUNTERS that the interior experience of Grace swept over me.  Tears.... blessings..... healing......

Here’s the kicker.  The Retreat questions were set in the context of the story of Mary’s ENCOUNTER with her cousin Elizabeth.  “When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leapt in her womb.”  At first I didn’t get the connection but as we sat with this (and this is the beauty of Spiritual Direction) it became clear (as in epiphany!).... God leaps in us when we encounter God in the other.

(NOTE: The photo above is from a still of Bill Viola's "The Greeting".  I saw this at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco in 1999.  Viola is a video artist.  The whole sequence, as I recall, if viewed in real time would take about 30 seconds.  However, it is displayed in slow motion and takes about 10 minutes to view.  If you ever get a chance to see a Viola exhibit GO!!! You'll never forget it!)